Chemical Bonds for Beginners
by llefay
Summary: Troy contemplates his relationship with Britta while bonding with Annie and Abed over horror films and vodka.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Sadly none of these characters belong to me. I'm just borrowing them for a bit.

This takes place during the summer between seasons 3 and 4 and could function as a standalone or as the first in a series. Let me know if you want it continued. Hope you enjoy it.

Troy glanced from his watch to the spread of alcohol and snacks littering the table. Britta should have been here by now.

Annie patted his arm sympathetically. "I'm sure she's fine. She'll probably be here soon."

"Yeah…" Troy said. He too was pretty sure that Britta was fine. The first three or four times she'd no showed him he'd panicked, assuming the worst and picturing her kidnapped by pirates or aliens or rats. But it had always turned out that she was fine and she'd just forgot, or some old anarchist friends had showed up and she'd gotten busy. He was sure Britta was fine. He was not sure she would be showing up anytime soon.

"Should we just start without her?" Abed asked.

Troy caught a glimpse of Annie shooting Abed a disapproving look behind his back.

"Or we could wait," Abed said.

"No, it's fine," Troy said finally. "Start the movie."

While Abed queued up "The Cabin in the Woods," Troy wandered over to the kitchen table. They'd bought a lot of liquor. Usually when he was hanging out with Abed and Annie they didn't drink, but Britta had suggested that some alcohol would make the night way cooler. So Troy had gone out and bought out half the liquor store. He wasn't even sure what most of the stuff was.

"What do you do with this?" he asked, holding up a bottle of whipped cream flavored vodka.

"Drink it?" Abed suggested.

"Yeah but like do you mix it with something?"

No one knew.

Troy shrugged and carried the bottle back over to his chair. Abed and Annie shared the other seat. Troy really didn't know much about drinking. He had the occasional beer but that was about it.

Troy opened the bottle and cautiously sniffed it. It was actually pretty nice.

Annie reminded them again about her hatred of scary movies and Abed tried to reassure her that nothing could be scary when it had been shoved far enough up its own ass.

Troy took a large swig of the vodka. It was sweet but also kind of hurt. Like Britta.

Troy was solidly drunk before a single grisly death had been seen.

"Troy," Annie said gently. "Maybe you should slow down. Like just a little."

Abed nodded without taking his eyes off the screen.

""M fine," Troy insisted. Taking another drink.

"Well can I try some then?" Annie asked, reaching out her arm.

Troy shrugged and held the bottle out to her. He watched as she took the tiniest little sip she could manage.

"Maybe I'll hold onto this for now," Annie said.

"Annie, I'm fine. Hand it back."

"You shouldn't be drinking right now," Annie insisted.

Abed looked up from the movie, annoyed. "Annie, friends don't tell each other what to do."

Annie blushed and handed the bottle back.

"Troy has had enough though," Abed commented. "Once the last shot or two kicks in he'll have safely reached the point where he will uninhibitedly tell us how he's feeling and bonding will inevitably occur."

Troy smiled. Abed was the best. Annie too.

Troy wasn't really tracking on the movie anymore. His eyes were half closed and listened to Abed and Annie debating whether Abed should take up smoking marijuana.

"There are clear correlations between my character and Marty's," Abed pointed out.

"But you don't need pot to be meta," Annie pointed out. "He is a lot more likeable in this than he was in Dollhouse though."

"See, almost the same character, but the addition of a controlled substance makes him likeable."

"I like you," Troy offered, opening his eyes. "Britta smokes all the time and you're a way better friend than her. I'm not sure she even likes me."

"Oh Troy," Annie exclaimed, jumping from her seat to wrap Troy in a hug. "Britta likes you, she really likes you, she's just… Britta."

Troy nodded, feeling the room spin as he moved his head. On screen everything was crumbling. It felt disturbingly like what was going on in his brain.

"Britta's like a butterfly or Annie's Boobs, she doesn't belong caged," Troy said sadly, his face buried against Annie's shoulder. Annie rubbed his back.

"You shouldn't decide anything tonight," Annie said.

The credits were rolling and Abed looked up. "What's going on?"

Troy lifted his head and rubbed at his eyes. "Bonding?"

"Cool, coolcoolcool." Abed stood and awkwardly joined them in their hug.


	2. Chapter 2

None of these characters are mine. Levar Burton isn't mine. Amy Goodman isn't mine etc. Hope you enjoy and that they don't seem too terribly out of character.

Just to clarify the timeline: this takes place between season 3 and 4 so Troy is back living with Annie and Abed. So it's the very end of summer.

Britta knocked on the door to apartment 303 at nine the next morning. In her right hand she held a bag of donuts. She'd felt a little guilty for bailing on her friends the night before and thought the donuts would more than make up for that.

Abed opened the door and stared at her with that careful, thoughtful, unreadable expression of his. Britta couldn't tell if he was wearing a bathrobe because it was still early or because he'd been playing Inspector Spacetime. The lack of a bowler suggested that he just hadn't had a chance to dress.

"Britta's here," he announced to Annie.

"Britta…" Annie said joining Abed at the door, a fake smile plastered across her face.

On second thought maybe Abed was inspector Spacetime- Annie was wearing a ball gown and antennae.

"So what's the deal, Tatum O'Neil?" Britta asked. "Seriously, what's up? I brought you guys donuts."

"It's actually not the best morning to stop by," Annie said uncomfortably. "Troy isn't really feeling well. We'll tell him you were here though."

"Okay…" Britta said. "Tell him I said to feel better. I guess it's just as well I couldn't come over last night then. I was watching this thing on Democracy Now! And Amy Goodman…"

"No," Abed said firmly.

"What?"

"No. Troy doesn't come second to Amy Goodman. He doesn't come second to Juan Gonzalez. He doesn't come second to peace in the Middle East. And if he does ever have to come second any of those things then you call him and tell him. That's what friends do. That's what girlfriends do."

"Wow, okay," Britta floundered. "Look I'm sorry. It wasn't intentional, I just got caught up. I didn't think you'd care. I'll call next time though," Britta bit her lip. "It's been a while since I've had a real boyfriend in fact I've never had a real boyfriend like Troy. Not one I cared about who actually cared about me too. So tell him I'm sorry?"

Annie nodded. "I guess you can come in. I'm not sure if Troy's planning to get out of bed but you can come in if you want."

Britta smiled uncomfortably as Abed pulled the bag of donuts from her hand. She wished she had some pot with her. "Do you think Troy would mind if I just stuck my head in his room real quick. Then I'll get out of your hair."

Britta noticed Abed staring at her.

"You can keep the donuts," she assured him.

Annie shrugged.

"Okay great, thanks." Britta knocked on Troy's door, relieved to have made it past his bodyguards. "Can I come in?"

Troy groaned in response.

Britta let herself in. Troy was curled up on his bed with his blanket pulled over his head. Someone, probably Annie, had stuck a clean bucket next to his bed.

"You okay?" Britta asked.

"Awesome," Troy responded. He pulled the blanket off his face, but didn't open his eyes.

Britta stepped inside the room and noted the smell of stale vodka. "I didn't think you drank hard alcohol."

"I didn't think so either."

Britta sighed. "I'm a shitty friend. I'm a shitty girlfriend too, but on the most fundamental level I'm a shitty friend."

"No," Troy said. He opened his eyes slightly. "You're an awesome friend. You just care about so much stuff. And that's really cool. It's just…"

"It's just that it makes me a shitty friend."

"You're a great casual friend. Like if we're both at the same place at the same time then it's great. But I don't want a girlfriend that's like that. I want to be able to make plans and not have to bring Annie with me for couples night at the Red Door because you forgot. And it was cool of Abed to fill in when you didn't make it to the kiss-a-thon we registered for, but…"

"I know. I don't want to be casual friends."

"Oh…" Troy shut his eyes again.

"I want to be your girlfriend. Your real girlfriend."

Troy grinned. "Really?"

"Really. And I want to you tell me when I'm Brittaing it because I haven't had much practice so I know I will."

"Promise," Troy agreed.

"Can I hang out for a while?" Britta asked. "Maybe we could watch that movie you were going to show me last night?"

"Maybe something less gory for right now?" Troy asked. "I might be able to handle a Reading Rainbow?"

"Works for me," Britta agreed, putting one of the well watched disks into Troy's DVD player and then joining Troy on the bed.

"This can work," Britta said hoping her doubts weren't obvious in her tone of voice.

"Totally," Troy agreed, putting his head on Britta's shoulder and falling back to sleep.

Britta smiled and tried to pretend she didn't feel completely trapped.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: These characters are not mine. Annie Hall isn't mine either.

"Oo! We can sign up for a couple's cooking class!" Troy exclaimed, leafing through the local news. "Almost as cool as the zumba classes we've been doing."

"Can you believe some of the austerity measures they're taking?" Britta exclaimed, her face buried in the world new section. "What did you say?"

"Cooking classes. For couples. It would be fun, right?"

Britta wrinkled her nose. "I don't really cook."

"Oh, well we like to dance. We could take swing dance lessons."

"That's still a thing?" Britta asked, incredulously.

"I dunno," Troy admitted. "We could something fun together though."

"They're showing "The Sorrow and the Pity" as part of some film festival. We could go watch that."

"Is that an Annie Hall reference?" Abed asked, walking into the kitchen.

"No, Abed. It was a suggestion for how Troy and I could spend the afternoon."

"Okay, so we don't have a dead shark on our hands?" Abed asked.

"I don't think so?" Britta said, her lack of familiarity with Annie Hall was becoming obvious.

"Cool. Coolcoolcool."

"Sharks are the worst," Troy exclaimed. "I don't care what Jeff said, there were so sharks in that water. I have the scars to prove it."

"So… film festival?" Britta asked.

"Yeah… okay is it like a comedy or…?"

"You think a movie called "The Sorrow and the Pity" might be a comedy?" Britta asked.

"I'm hoping," Troy said. "It's not a comedy, is it?"

"Not so much," Britta admitted.

"We can go anyway, if you want."

"No it's fine. I'll go another time." Britta sighed. "It's getting late. I should head home."

"It's okay that we don't like any of the same things, right?" Troy asked.

"Yeah. It's totally fine."

"Okay…"

"I'll call you later," Britta promised, kissing Troy quickly and letting herself out.

"Dead shark?" Abed asked, sitting down in the chair Britta had vacated. "In Annie Hall, Woody Allen's character Alvy says that relationships are like sharks- they have to keep moving forward or they die."

"I dunno. Maybe it's dead. Or maybe we were just like feeding it speed and making it go way faster than it was supposed to and now it's really tired but it'll be totally fine?"

Abed nodded. "Annie Hall doesn't discuss shark amphetamines but it's possible. In that case I may need to apologize."

"For what?"

"The other week I told Britta that she shouldn't put you second to everything else in her life."

"That's why we've been eating every meal together? And taking three 'couples' classes a week? And watching movies we hate?"

"Very likely," Abed admitted.

"Not cool Abed. I mean it's cool that you wanted to help. But Britta's like you. She doesn't really do things half way."

"I know," Abed agreed. "I apologize."

Troy nodded and stood up. "I should talk to Britta."

Troy's phone beeped, alerting him to a text message. He glanced down at his phone and sank back into his chair.

"What's wrong?" Abed asked.

"It was from Britta. She broke up with me."


End file.
